Saturday, 19 September 2009

Swinging both ways

Now don't get me wrong, I love Edward unconditionally and irrevocably, but sometimes I just need a Jacob Black fix. Now this makes me a bit uncomfortable as a 32yr old woman. I can justify my love for Edward because, technically he's 108 years old, and Rob's 23 which isn't toooo bad, but there's no getting away from the fact that Jacob is 16 and Taylor Lautner is 17 - and unsettlingly he looks it too, bless him. And this is why I love David Slade's Twitter pic of him backflipping so much - you can see the body without the then inevitable cringe when your eyes finally (admittedly after about five minutes) move up to his face. And it is a lovely face, just a little bit too....17 looking to sit comfortably.

Now was I younger then I'm sure I wouldn't get the maternal feelings about his face that conflict horribly with the feelings I get when I see his body - and what a body! See! Now, I've started my id and super-ego off again, I feel like I'm in the Tom & Jerry scene with the angel and devil on my shoulders.

I was online earlier when I saw the Edward and Jacob cut-outs that are on for pre-order now. So the Twilight siren starts up in my head "NEED THEM, NEED THEM". I was good and resisted (for now ;o)) but then I had to consider, were I to order them, where exactly would I store them? Mary asked me if the idea was to sandwich myself between them - nice idea but then obviously I'm going to need to find a space near a radiator to store Jacob and somewhere chilly for Edward, just to get the full effect you know - attention to detail is very important.

I've still got to work out how, should my finger slip on 'buy' for these two, how I could possibly look Jacob in the eye with my internal conflict raging, I'm guessing it's too much to ask that he stands at book-Jake's 6' 7" so his face is so high up that I can't even see it ;o)

Friday, 18 September 2009

Another Twi-sted day

So today I set off to do my supermarket shopping. I don't know about you but these days the slightest thing can remind me of my obsession. Today it was finding myself driving behind a black Volvo XC90 like the one Edward is going to be driving in New Moon and Eclipse. So what is the normal thing for a Twilight freak to do in this situation? Well, obviously I look for the silhouette of the driver to see if it's Edward (I really wish I was joking here). Not surprisingly when I drew alongside at a roundabout and double checked it was just a normal bloke in his 40s. *sigh*, what a disappointment that it hadn't happened to be Edward Cullen driving around Preston, Lancashire eh?

Anyway, much success at Asda, I spotted a bargain new shirt for Harry. He looks so lovely in it I've posted a pic at the top. I'm not sure what it is but he really reminds me of someone here ;o). Oh well, I'm sure it will come to me. Now I knew before I posted this pic to my Facebook profile that certain people would react in a less than favourable way to it, the trouble with my Twisession at the moment is that the disapproval just makes me want to wind them up more. Goodness only knows what the end result will be if this rebellious streak in me continues.

I had loads of housework to do today so of course I spent the afternoon productively composing a parody of Rhianna's 'Umbrella' for my Edbrella blog. I still can't believe that it's not rained, nature can be so cruel sometimes.

On the book front new Twilight victims seem to be appearing left, right and centre, if only Mary and me were on commission we'd have had enough money to be living out of a hotel in ancouver right now instead of having to read all the Eclipse updates on various blogs & tweets. Oh, and I treated myself to the Vampire Diary books today. I wonder if I'll ever buy a book from the adult sections again rather than the teens?...

It just gets better every time

Reading Twilight, that is.

I've just started reading it for the fifth time now and it just seems to get better, and better.

I'm still gutted at the bits that got missed out of the film. Mainly the blood testing bit, I think that would have been brilliant on film, but hey ho I have a very vivid imagination that allows me to picture it all. I have been know to replace Bella with myself, my much slimmer younger self of course ;)

I can almost feel my arms slipping into Edwards soft beige leather jacket and smell his scent......Of course in my mind I look so ravishing that he leaps across the table to kiss my perfect rosebud lips and ....well, that's enough of that for now;)

Straight back down to earth at the thought of the bowl full of spuds that need peeling
Mary xxx

Thursday, 17 September 2009

Did i mention Twilight?

Apparently I do it quite a lot. I was chatting to a friend in the playground today....we were picking our kids up, not attending school. She foolishly asked me if I'd seen True Blood. Of course i've seen it! I've just watched the whole of season two, back to back over the last couple of days. I need to get my vamp fix from somewhere. TB lead onto me Twilight (obv) and i sensed her fear creeping in as i explained how excited i was getting as time inches slowly closer to the release of New Moon wooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo.

My daughter was in the office talking to Mr Mary the other night, and my screensaver kicked in. It's a delightful Edward Cullen gallery for me to perve over. She said "oh not Edward again" to her daddy, who then informed me i'd even managed to pee a 5 year old off with my Robsession.

I personally don't think i'm that bad,am I? I know worse *cough* Stan ;) I've got the books, three copies of the film, one of those is in Blu-Ray and OMG when he sparkles. Oops there i go again, anyway, a couple of books, a poster, keyring and a bag. Not hugely OTT :)

I've just downloaded a different screensaver for Mr Marys PC, he can thank me later ;)

The Merchandise - how far is too far?

I suppose what I really mean is how much can a female in her thirties get away with before she's crossed the line? And what type of items are acceptable. Now, I'm willing to give just about anything a go, not sure where I'd draw the line, so guessing that that particular item isn't being manufactured yet.

Mary has been quite keen on getting herself some of the Twilight plasters. Sadly Mr Mary put his foot down as he was suspicious that she might start self-harming just to give herself an excuse to use them. I say that there's absolutely no need to be so extreme about these things, I would love to see Mary going about her day-to-day business with an Edward Cullen plaster across her cheek a la Nelly, just as a sign of her devotion. In fact I'd even pay good money to see her popping to the newsagents for her copy of Heat one Tuesday with the plaster in place.
Now I live in a village so have to keep a slightly lower profile to avoid being labelled as simple. I'm planning on doing this by using my Edbrella, just as soon as we have some bloody rain! I feel that this will show me for the dedicated fan that I am, without tipping me over into the 'avoid her, she's a raving looney' category that the face plaster would. Or maybe not. You see, the problem with villages is that everybody knows everybody else's business, so it's already out there that maybe my penchant for all things Twilight is a little on the...erm, let's call it 'enthusiastic' side.
In fact only yesterday a good friend called for coffee and kindly told me that a small group of them had been in the cafe afer dropping the kids off at school yesterday and had been discussing what a saddo I am. Charming eh??! Apparently the fact I have Rob Corner set up behind my kitchen door, own a Rob Pattinson annual and have several copies of the books because I couldn't help but spread the word but then got worryingly jittery whenever I was left without a copy in the house, has left me branded locally as some kind of freak.
So, what to do about my public image problems? Well, as long as I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly. Mary, pass the plasters....

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

I blame Wesley Snipes

It all started with Wes dressed in black leather as the ass kicking, super sexy Blade.
Vampires were sexy, Fact.

I fell in love, well maybe lust but whatever that's when it all started for me. I stayed loyal for years, Wes was my man, no question about it. I stayed with him through all three Blade movies. My husband, kids and family all knew about my love for the leather clad hottie and they went with the flow.....they had little choice really.

Then along came Edward Cullen (PHWOARRRRR) Who in looks is just about a complete opposite of Bladey baby. WTF was happening to me? It was as confusing for my family as much as for me. When my dad found out he was shocked to the core and uttered something along the lines of.....but he's a little white boy!.. I KNOW!! I had noticed!
Blade was my first vamp love, that will never change. Then along came Edward Cullen and totally threw me kicking and screaming into a new obsession. Then i discoverd Eric from True Blood!!!!!!! More about that another time, but i'm sure you can see a pattern forming.
Mary xxx

It's all her fault, she made me do it ;o)

My God, this is like therapy ;o)! My name is Stan and I'm Twi-sted. So, as Mary has already confessed, she dragged me kicking and screaming into the middle of this obsession that now rules my life. Well, maybe not quite kicking, but definitely screaming. Well, probably more like squealing actually. Sorry, did I say dragging? Oh, ok I confess, I went running in behind her and probably vaulted right over the top of her after she hit the common sense barrier (although she was going a bit too fast and toppled just onto the other side ;o)).

So it started with the books. I remember Mary telling me that she was jealous of me because she'd finished reading them and I still had it all to come, think she must have been in that period of mourning you get right after finishing Breaking Dawn *sigh*. I loved the books, I fell just as in love with Edward as Bella did and New Moon was as traumatic for me as it was for her, not knowing if and when he was coming back. I'd been listening to Mary's appreciation for some bloke called Rob Pattinson.

"Who? Never heard of him, hang on while I Google him - HOW MANY HITS?? Apparently this search is very common ;o). Hmm, really Mary? I'm not sure he really does it for me. Are you sure? As Edward? My beautiful Edward? Oh ok then, I'll give the film a go.....Aaaaah, I totally get it now! <3>

Now, I'll admit it, I've always been a collector, not in the stamps or toy pigs vein but I did have rather a large (and expensive) pushchair fetish for a while. The people who make the Twilight merchandise would have been rubbing their hands together with glee had they known that I had just climbed aboard their beast. I have actually been very controlled - for me that is- but do now find myself the proud and protective owner of a few posters. Big ones. I also have my own specially comissioned Rob mug (my cuppas are now known as having a 'Rob' of coffee), an Edbrella and a recently commanded Rob Annual, complete with wordsearch, quizzes and - my favourite bit - a recipe for making your own Rose Water Perfume! Fantastic!

"Aaah," you're now thinking. "Now this makes sense, she's only 14 years old!" Sadly not. I'm married to a now Rob-hating man who defaced the cover of my annual but usually tries hard to control his jealousy (Hey, nothing wrong with a bit of healthy competition right?) and three sons, all who know Rob as Mummy's boyfriend. Don't think I'll actually elaborate further on this at the moment just in case somebody calls Social Services in ;o).

So, that's me. Better go, not checked all the other Twi-sites on my favourites list yet!

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

I really should know better.......

......but the first time i clapped eyes on Edward Cullen i was hooked!

I'd heard about Twilight, who hasn't?? I can vaguely remember seeing all the screaming teenagers at the premieres and wondering what all the fuss was about. I soon found out.

I saw the film first so Edward was always pictured in my mind when i read the books. And what a delightful picture it was. I read all four books in a matter of days, and then started them again asap. I read anytime, anywhere to get my fix. Even on the toilet, and i know i'm not the only one to do this!! I somehow managed to carry on with the day to day stuff of school runs, housework etc but OMG i longed to get those things done so i could read my books.

I then had to spread the word. Stan was my first victim ;) She visited one day and i was halfway through one of the books. I seem to remember telling her that she had to read the books, and guaranteed her falling in love with Edward *sigh*

It didn't take her long (muaahaahaa) Already fab friends we've bonded even closer through our love of all things Twilight, we now share a Robsession ;) Although i have to say Stan sometimes scares me slightly, hence the nickname, as in Eminem's Stan LOL

I've now converted several friends by spreading the Twilight word. One of whom laughed hysterically at my obsession and was convinced she 'd take her time in reading the books (they took her a week)

Anyway it's time to put my youngest to bed. Speak soon
Mary xxx