Thursday, 17 September 2009

The Merchandise - how far is too far?

I suppose what I really mean is how much can a female in her thirties get away with before she's crossed the line? And what type of items are acceptable. Now, I'm willing to give just about anything a go, not sure where I'd draw the line, so guessing that that particular item isn't being manufactured yet.

Mary has been quite keen on getting herself some of the Twilight plasters. Sadly Mr Mary put his foot down as he was suspicious that she might start self-harming just to give herself an excuse to use them. I say that there's absolutely no need to be so extreme about these things, I would love to see Mary going about her day-to-day business with an Edward Cullen plaster across her cheek a la Nelly, just as a sign of her devotion. In fact I'd even pay good money to see her popping to the newsagents for her copy of Heat one Tuesday with the plaster in place.
Now I live in a village so have to keep a slightly lower profile to avoid being labelled as simple. I'm planning on doing this by using my Edbrella, just as soon as we have some bloody rain! I feel that this will show me for the dedicated fan that I am, without tipping me over into the 'avoid her, she's a raving looney' category that the face plaster would. Or maybe not. You see, the problem with villages is that everybody knows everybody else's business, so it's already out there that maybe my penchant for all things Twilight is a little on the...erm, let's call it 'enthusiastic' side.
In fact only yesterday a good friend called for coffee and kindly told me that a small group of them had been in the cafe afer dropping the kids off at school yesterday and had been discussing what a saddo I am. Charming eh??! Apparently the fact I have Rob Corner set up behind my kitchen door, own a Rob Pattinson annual and have several copies of the books because I couldn't help but spread the word but then got worryingly jittery whenever I was left without a copy in the house, has left me branded locally as some kind of freak.
So, what to do about my public image problems? Well, as long as I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly. Mary, pass the plasters....

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