Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Would you want Edward in real life???

This is the question I was asking myself last night whilst inserting a pessary!!
Fiery fadge, and not in a good way!

Yep, I know. What a time to be thinking of such things, but It happened. It was Mr Marys fault for coming into the bedroom at such a delicate time. Me propped up on my elbows, legs akimbo just about to perform the rather personal task of treating my lady bits. He just stood at the end of the bed and asked
"do you need any help there love?" Hmmm lemme think. NO!!
Followed by the caring statement
"Now go and wash your hands you dirty bitch"

Lovely. It made me think that at times like this I really wouldn't want Edward to be around.
Can you remember how you looked after giving birth for example? Exactly, you really wouldn't want him to see you looking like that.
Then there's the nights out with the girls, and you've drunk more than your own body weight in cheap Vodka, Gin, Cocktails etc.
You then wake up looking like this


  1. Thanks, Mary. Now I can leave you a message about your Firey Fadge...ewwwwwww! How can you talk about Edward and...er...thrush, as you referred to it, at the same time? That's just wrong.

    And, dear heart, they make these little things called locks...you know on doors. They're there for a reason. If my husband were to walk in on me in that compromising position...I would probably combust on the spot. And not in a good way. Not like Bella and the leg hitch/dry hump. (Man, I love that part!)

    Although, if Mr. TwiWeasel were to say to me "do you need any help there love?" at the right time...I might just combust...in a good way.

    Oh, and by the way, I hope you DID wash your hands, you dirty bitch.

  2. *shakes head* I really shouldn't have gone away. Fiery fadge indeed.